We have been on the adoption journey since August, 2006, when we first contacted Bethany Christian Services. Along the way, although we’ve had our “weak moments”, by-and-large we’ve trusted God for His timing. In the last year, we’ve heard all sorts of comments – from hostile to hilarious – from skin color to child-rearing – from friendly needling to the most “un”-helpful things to wonderful words of wisdom. We know it’s only the beginning, and our Lord has heard it all right along with us, and watched as we’ve responded, and consoled as we have hurt, and smiled as we have looked to Him, and taught us much!
We’ve had so many random thoughts through these last many months. For example, my mother is known for being outside after dark just to pull a few more weeds, or water a few more plants. This past summer I found myself glancing at the setting sun as I fervently pulled weeds, getting the unmistakable sense that I was burning daylight and almost out of it, and I just might not get all the flower beds cleaned out like I’d hoped. I began to wonder…will my children love the garden? Do I do what I do because I’ve spent thirty years watching my mother do it, or because my mother’s genes are woven into the fabric of my own being? I suppose it’s both. I’ve heard strong opinions from both perspectives. My thoughts: My son is my son…no matter who he “takes after”. God has called us to obedience, regardless, and that’s where we find blessing. Who he’s like…does it really matter? We think not.
There are things about adoption that no one says out loud…like you might not respond the way you think you will the first time you see your child. It might scare you when it becomes that real. Instead of seeing him and “knowing he’s yours” you just might see him and think “oh my…it’s real now – I hope we’re doing the right thing.” But that’s just another one of the joys, and through it, you know yourself better, you learn God better (if you’re listening) and you look forward to what else He has in store.
On a lighter – and funnier – note, my most recent “comment of the week” was from a dear-hearted well-intentioned elderly woman who, upon hearing that we were still waiting for the passport application to be submitted said, “Well gee…he’s gonna be walking and talking and all grown up by the time you get him!” Super…that helps the wait! Thanks for the input! We smile at the contributions of the well-intentioned, and once we get over the ouch we usually laugh!